Anyway, we have eight contestants remaining, so let's ask them the next fast finger question... Regis: Put together the order of the lyrics of the Tom Lehrer song "A Christmas Carol" starting with the earliest... a. Send some useless old utensil b. Hail our dear old friend, Kris Kringle c. Kill the turkeys, ducks and chickens d. Deck the halls with hunks of holly Go! CONTESTANTS SELECT THE ANSWERS Regis: OK. The time is now up. Now, let's see the order of Bob Rivers Christmas albums he released, starting with the earliest, and they are... d. Deck the halls with hunks of holly c. Kill the turkeys, ducks and chickens a. Send some useless old utensil b. Hail our dear old friend, Kris Kringle Regis: That's the correct order, now let's see who got it in the fastest amount of time... Gary Howard --- Christina Milano --- Peter Redford 4.22 Greg Van Mills --- Anna Hughes 9.32 Gabe Brown 3.66 Richard Jackson 3.66 Ricky Iglesias 10.44 Regis: We have a time! Gabe Brown and Richard Jackson! APPLAUSE! Regis: Well according to the rules, we have to break this tie, so let's do another fast finger question for you two only, and here it comes... Put the words in a common Christmas phrase in order starting with the last word... a. The b. All c. Way d. Jingle Go! CONTESTANTS SELECT THE ANSWERS Regis: OK. The time is now up. Now, let's see the words in a common Christmas phrase in order starting with the last word, and they are... c. Way a. The b. All d. Jingle Regis: That's the correct order, now let's see who got it in the fastest amount of time... Gabe Brown 1.44 Richard Jackson ---- Regis: Gabe Brown, come on down! APPLAUSE! Regis: Ready to play? Gabe: Yes. Regis: Richard got the phrase in the wrong order though. Gabe: OK. Regis: Come on to the hot seat! Let's play! APPLAUSE! Regis: Now we have Gabe Brown from Denver, Colorado. Gabe: Yup. Regis: What do you do for a living? Gabe: I'm part of a crew to demolish Mile High Stadium this year. Regis: Go there often while the Broncos were playing? Gabe: I just came back from the Bronco game today. Regis: What happened there? Gabe: Denver (11-5) routed San Francisco (6-10) 38-9 in the final game at Mile High Stadium. Regis: You sound like a newswire release! LAUGHTER! Regis: Well, you must be a Bronco fan, right? Gabe: Nope. I'm a Raider fan, and I hope they kick some Bronco butt out of the playoffs. Regis: Not a fan anymore. Gabe: Not since John Elway retired. Regis: Well, whatever the case, you're on your way to a million dollars. Are you ready to play? Gabe: Yes. Regis: OK. Let's play Who Wants to Be a Demented Millionaire! DIM LIGHTS Regis: For $100, How many words are spoken in the Singing Dogs version of "Jingle Bells?" a. 0 b. 1 c. 5 d. 1,000,000 LAUGHTER! Gabe: It would have to be a. 0 Regis: Indeed it is, you won $100! APPLAUSE! Regis: Here comes your $200 question. The Grinch's heart grew how many times bigger in the Dr. Seuss Christmas special? a. 1 b. 2 c. 3 d. pi Gabe: It's gotta be c. 3. Regis: It is c. you've won $200! APPLAUSE! Regis: OK. For $300. What character was introduced in the first South Park Christmas episode? a. Mr. Crappy b. Mr. Hankey c. Mr. Johnny d. Mr. Winnie the Poo LAUGHTER! Gabe: Well, Mr. Hankey happens... LAUGHTER! Gabe:...so I'll say b. Mr. Hankey Regis: Final answer? Gabe: Final Answer. Regis: And you're right, you've won $300! APPLAUSE! Regis: Here we go for $500, and lo and behold, this one is related to the previous question. Where does Mr. Hankey Come From? a. The North Pole b. France c. You d. Broken Kathie Lee CD's! LAUGHTER! Gabe: I love that show South Park, so it's gotta come from c. you. Regis: As far as I know, Mr. Hankey never came from me! LAUGHTER! Regis: But the answer is indeed c. You. You've won $500! APPLAUSE! Regis: Here is your $1,000 question. Yogi Yorgesson went _what_ at Christmas? a. Crazy b. Nuts c. Insane d. To The Funny Farm Gabe: Sounds like a Napoleon XIV kind of song with d., but the right answer is simply nuts, so my answer is b. nuts. Regis: And you're nuts enough to get it right, you've won $1,000! APPLAUSE! Regis: Gabe, you've won a guaranteed prize of $1,000, and you still have all three lifelines left. You're in great shape to win a million dollars. Gabe: Thanks. Regis: Now, let's take a look at the $2,000 question. Who voiced the lead in the 1999 Christmas Cartoon special "Olive the Other Reindeer?" a. Alicia Silverstone b. Cameron Diaz c. Drew Barrymore d. Christina Ricci Gabe: Damn, they're all cute. Regis: Welp. Ever seen the cartoon? Gabe: I kept trying to picture the reindeer as a Charlie's Angel for some reason, but nothing came out right. LAUGHTER! Regis: The reindeer was a dog in the cartoon! Gabe: You saw that too? Regis: Yes, and I know the answer and I'm not telling you the answer! LAUGHTER! Gabe: I guess the voice is the cutest one of all. c. Drew Barrymore. Regis: Confident. Gabe: Yes. Regis: Sure? Gabe: Final answer. Regis: And you're right, you've won $2,000! APPLAUSE! Regis: Here it is, your $4,000 question! What rock group guested with The Chipmunks in the 1968 recording of "Alvin Meets the Bear?" a. The Kinks b. Steppenwolf c. Cream d. Canned Heat Gabe: I heard that song before, but I'm not sure of the group. Regis: Well, you can narrow it down a bit. Gabe: I don't belive The Kinks ever cared to sing with speeded-up voices. LAUGHS Gabe: Let's do a 50/50 Regis: Alright. Computer, please take away two wrong answers... What rock group guested with The Chipmunks in the 1968 recording of "Alvin Meets the Bear?" b. Steppenwolf d. Canned Heat Regis: Helps you out? Gabe: I was a huge Steppenwolf fan, and I know they never sang with the Chipmunks, so the answer is d. final answer. Regis: Hey gabe. Gabe: Yes. Regis: You got $4,000! APPLAUSE! Regis: Here we go for $8,000. Ogden Edsl sang which Christmas novelty song? a. Open Me First b. The Night Santa Claus Retired c. Dead Reindeer d. Kinko The Elf Gabe: Those are all funny titles, but I believe that... Regis: Remember that if you miss this question, you lose $3,000! Gabe: I know he sang about Kinko the Clown, but he spent 21 Christmasses in jail....and I doubt it that he sang about Dead Reindeer unless Grandma ran over them in her SUV. LAUGHTER!--APPLAUSE! Regis: NOW THERE'S AN IDEA! Reindeer got run over by a grandma, driving home in her big SUV... LAUGHTER! Regis: Now all I got to do is to record the song for Dr. Demento! Gabe: Well, you better get somebody else to sing the song. APPLAUSE! Regis: Now control yourself! This game is outta control! Gabe: I'll say a. Open Me First. Regis: Ever heard of the song? Gabe: I know that b. was sang by Rose and the Arrangement, so it's a. Final answer. Regis: And it is a.! You've won $8,000! APPLAUSE! Regis: Let's take a look at your $16,000 question! Mona Abboud's song "The Pretty Little Dolly" was recorded on a comedy variety show hosted by which person? a. Ed Sullivan b. Red Skelton c. Steve Allen d. Johnny Carson Gabe: I heard this song just today in my record collection. I'm not sure what happened to Gayla. Regis: Gayla doesn't seem to come out anymore? Gabe: Not sure if she's still with us, but I recall Dr. Demento mentioning she was in a comedy variety show, but I forgot who. Regis: Well, you can ask the audience, or phone a friend. Gabe: I'm going to go with d. Johnny Carson. Regis: Why is that? Gabe: I recognize his laugh at the end of the song. Regis: So you say d. Final? Gabe: Final answer. Regis: You've just won $16,000! APPLAUSE! Regis: Now Gabe, get this next question correct and you're at the second guaranteed level of $32,000. Too bad Scotty can't get this video player working. Scotty: Aye, Captain. The electricity trading rate has exploded up to $1,000,000 per megawatt! I say we better dim the lights and play the game in the dark! Regis: Pigeon Pellets! We're going for $32,000. Ready, Gabe? Gabe: Sure. Regis: Alright, now here is your $32,000 question! What is David Letterman's favorite and only acceptable rock and roll Christmas song? a. Jingle Bell Rock - Bobby Helms b. Run Run Rudolph - Chuck Berry c. Little Saint Nick - Beach Boys d. Baby Please Come Home - Darlene Love Gabe: She was on for the eighth time on CBS. d. Darlene Love. Regis: Well, you must watch the show all the time yourself. Gabe: No. Leno sucked that night so I switched channels midway through the show. LAUGHTER! Regis: So you say d. Final? Gabe: Final Answer Regis: And you're right! You've just won $32,000! APPLAUSE! Regis: Here it is! Your check for $32,000, and with two lifelines left, you're still in good shape to go for a million dollars. Gabe: Alrighty! Regis: Well then, here comes your $64,000 question. Let's go! Which former Saturday Night Live performer never released a Christmas or Hanukkah Novelty Song. a. Adam Sandler b. Kevin Nealon c. Father Guido Sarducci d. Buster Poindexter Regis: Watch SNL? Gabe: On occasion, but not lately. Regis: Remember, these performed many years ago, so you might have been watching these players. Gabe: I know Adam Sandler sang the Hanukkah Song, and Father Guido Sarducci sang about Santa's Lament, but the other two?.... Regis: Think about it for a moment. LONG PAUSE Regis: Remember, it's a free guess! LONG PAUSE Gabe: I think I'll ask the audience. Regis: Okay. Let's go audience. Let's see what you can do. On your keypad is a, b, c, and d. Go! AUDIENCE SELECTS THE ANSWERS . . . . . . . . . 0 . 0 0 a b c d LAUGHTER! Regis: Well, 100% has chosen b. Kevin Nealon, and if you're all wrong, you pay me a million! LAUGHTER! Gabe: I'm going to take b. Regis: Final answer? Gabe: Yes. Regis: And you're all right, you've won $64,000! APPLAUSE! Regis: This has never happened before. The audience poll getting 100%. Oh, I see now. New York. APPLAUSE! Regis: Everybody in the audience watches Saturday Night Live! LAUGHTER! Regis: Here is the check with your name on it for $64,000! So now, Gabe, you have one lifeline left at $64,000 and are now going for $125,000! Let's take a look at the question. Which Rock and Roll act never released a Christmas song? a. Queen b. Foghat c. Bob Seger d. ZZ Top Gabe. d. ZZ Top AUDIENCE OOHS! Regis: Wow! That was quick. Is that your... Gabe: Final Answer. Regis: You've just won $125,000! APPLAUSE! Regis: For the record, Queen recorded "Thank God It's Christmas," Bob Seger recorded "Santa's Got a Brand New Bag," and Foghat recorded "All I Want for Christmas Is You." Now, Gabe, here is the check for $125,000 with your name on it. Gabe: Excellent! Regis: And you have the Dial-A-Friend lifeline left. Ready to play? Gabe: Yes. Regis: OK, now, remember, if you guess the next question wrong, you lose $93,000. Gabe: That's how much of a bet I lost on the Chargers going winless this season. LAUGHTER! Regis: Well, anyway, let's take a look at the $250,000 question. Dread Zeppelin covered a Christmas Novelty Song of which artist? a. Spike Jones b. Tom Lehrer c. Allan Sherman d. The Chipmunks Gabe: Well, everybody seemed to have covered a. and d. I have never came across anyone with b. yet, but that song is an all-time classic. LONG PAUSE Regis: Wake up. LAUGHTER! Gabe: I don't belive anyone can cover the Chipmunks, unless they sing fast themselves, so it's gonna be a guess with a. Spike Jones. Regis: Remember, you have the phone a friend lifeline. Gabe: I'll risk it for a. Regis: Final? Gabe: Final answer. Regis: Gabe! Gabe: Regis! Regis: Gabe! Gabe: Regis! Regis: Gabe! Gabe: Gabe! Regis: Regis! LAUGHTER! Regis: Enough already! You've won $250,000! APPLAUSE! APPLAUSE! Regis: Well! Here is your latest check with your name on it for a quarter of a million dollars. You're doing great! Gabe: Lucky guess. Regis: Now, we're going for a higher stake now at $500,000. Remember, if you get this wrong, you lose $218,000! Are you ready? Gabe: Sure Regis: OK. Here coems the half a million dollar question... Buckner and Garcia, posing as Willis The Guard & Vigorish, sang about Merry Christmas in what major league? a. MLB b. NHL c. NFL d. NBA Gabe: (long long long long pause) Regis: Recall anything about the song? Gabe: This is really tough. Regis: Well you can phone a friend. Gabe: Well, let's do that. Regis: OK. Who do you want to call? Gabe: I have my dad who is a sports junkie. I hope he heard of this song. Regis: OK. Let's get him on right now. RING! RING! Dad: Hello! Regis: Is his Gabe's dad? Dad: Speaking. Regis: Hello, this is Regis of that Millionaire game show on TV, and your son is going for a half a million dollars and he needs your help. Dad: Sure. Regis: Now the next voice you're going to hear is your son. You have 30 seconds on the clock, and the time starts now! Buckner and Garcia, posing as Willis The Guard & Vigorish, sang about Merry Christmas in what major league? a. MLB b. NHL c. NFL d. NBA Dad: Pacman isn't a major league? Gabe: Well, they sang that song, but they also sang this sports song I never heard. Dad: Well, three sports leagues are playing at Christmas time, so that leaves out MLB. Gabe: 10 seconds! Dad: I recall a song mentioning a helmet, so NBA is out... Gabe: 5 seconds! Dad: I don't recall cheerleaders in the N... BUZZ BUZZ Regis: Any clues, Gabe? Gabe: Cheerleaders? Must be the NFL. Final answer. Regis: You've just won $500,000! APPLAUSE! Regis: Here it is! Your $500,000 check with your name on it! How did you guess this question correctly? Gabe: Deductive reasoning thanks to my dad. Regis: Well, you better give your dad something for his trouble. Now, Gabe, you're out of lifelines, and you have the million dollar question coming up. Miss it, and you lose $468,000. Gabe: Let's go for it! Regis: Alright! Let's play! Regis: Here it is for a million dollars! The great Luke Ski's 2000 Christas hit record "A Fanboy Christmas" clocks in at how many minutes and seconds? a. 9:27 b. 9:35 c. 9:53 d. 9:59 Gabe: Yikes! I heard the song on DFSX, but never clocked the song! Regis: Heard it on Dr. Demento? Gabe: Not the whole song, dammit. Regis: Well, remember that you can walk away from the question and take the $500,000. Gabe: I'm going to go for it. I recall someone mentioning that it was about 9 minutes long, and it has a five and a three in it.... LONG PAUSE Regis: Your pause is almost as long as Luke Ski's song. LAUGHTER! Gabe: It's b. 9:35 Regis: OK. Are you confident? Gabe: I'm guessing it's that. Regis: I'm not talking you into doing anything. Do you wish to risk the $468,000 for this guess? Gabe: Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Regis: Now, Gabe, legally, I have to ask you this question, is this your final answer? LONG PAUSE Regis: Wake up! Gabe: Yes, this is my final answer Regis: Awwww! It as c. 9:53 AUDIENCE SIGHS Regis: Well, that's a shame. I wanted you to win this million dollars. Gabe: At least I had the balls to go for it. Regis: And you can hang my balls on your Christmas tree for all I care. LAUGHTER! Regis: Here is your check for $32,000, you're a great sport and a good contestant. Gabe: Thanks a bunch. APPLAUSE! GABE LEAVES! Regis: Well, 10 minutes is a long time to let a song run. Wonder if it was a disco mix of something. Never heard the song. FOGHORN Regis: Well, we're out of time for this edition of Who Wants to Be a Demented Millionaire. Thank you for the questions you have been sending us in the past year. But unfortunately, our network has decided to cancel our show, but if you want the show back next Christmas, please write the boss of this network and spam this guy email@example.com with some demands as well as questions to ask. Maybe next time, we'll have the videos running for the next special. Be sure to send your questions with answers and Christmas song lyrics to firstname.lastname@example.org and he'll work the questions and multi-choice answers into this quiz. People who correctly guess your answer will be chosen at ramdon to win some fake money or something, hell, think of this as practice when you want to be on the real ABC game show. So for now, this is Regis Tannybin, saying, goodnight! APPLAUSE!