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You are at the section Demented Christmas Specials

WWTBAM '00 Part 1

Yet Another Stupid D.T. Christmas Special!



CLICK! CLICK! CLICK!

What the @#$%#@$ is on TV tonight!

CLICK! CLICK! CLICK!

Commercial: New Swanson HDTV Dinners! For people who already upgraded their sets!


CLICK! CLICK! CLICK!

Newsman: This just in.  The Grinch has stolen Christmas for the 27th time in history. Details
         are comin....
         

CLICK! CLICK! CLICK!

Network Announcer:  See Dasher and Dancer get on Prancer and Vixen in "Sex and the
                    North Pole," tonight on HBO!


CLICK! CLICK! CLICK!

Where is that stupid David Tanny Christmas Show on what @#$#$ channel!

CLICK! CLICK! CLICK!

Commercial:  That's right!  Only 99,99,99,99  THAT'S 99,99,99,99!  Only 99,99,99,99!

CLICK! CLICK! CLICK!




ANNOUNCER: This is Channel 2,634.  Why, because we were assigned that channel
   number, dummies!


================


BEGIN SHOW!

Begin theme music!

Announcer Regis: Ladies and Gentlemen...live from New York, it's...

   WHO WANTS TO BE A DEMENTED MILLIONAIRE!


APPLAUSE!


   Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our special Christmas Carol version of
Who Wants to Be a Demented Millionaire.  I'm your host Regis Tannybin.

   We have a lot of money to give away, as well as watching some of the funniest
Christmas and Hanukkah videos ever made, so let's get started.

   Oh by the way, before we get to this year's batch of contestants, we have
made a serious error on one of last year's Millionaire editions. It seems that we 
asked a question about the artist who recorded "Monsters Holiday", and it turned 
out that both Lon Chaney Jr. and Bobby "Boris" Pickett recorded two different 
versions of this same song.

   In all fairness, we decided to bring back Conan Strong, but there are two noticiable
changes. First off, he spent most of the $500,000 money in the past year, so instead of
having the money be risked, and since we goofed up the question, Strong will be going 
for just the $500,000 part of the $1,000,000 prize without risking the $500,000 that
was already won.

   Secondly, um, uh, Conan is now Connie Strong. The transvestite trucker is now
a transsexual and now she just might have enough balls to become the first to start
the game as a man and reach the top as a woman.  So without any further boredom, let's
welcome back Connie to the hot seat.

APPLAUSE!

   Regis: Welcome back to Who Wants To Be a Demented Millionaire the Christmas Carols 
Edition and I'm now with Connie Strong of Miami, Florida.
   Connie: Yes.
   Regis: Are you still trucking around in the 18-wheeler?
   Connie: I gave up that job last year and I've decided to pursue a new career as a
Kathie Lee impressionist.

LAUGHTER-APPLAUSE!

   Connie: And I can guarantee you that I can belt out a better tune than she could
ever dream of doing.

APPLAUSE!

   Regis: Well, since Kathie Lee quit my other show, her singing career fizzled out and 
so did her CQ rating, so I guess she's now on a street corner with a sign "Will Sing
For Food."

LAUGHTER!

   Connie: Well, don't be too hard on her, Reege, it's just that her songs just plain suck.

APPLAUSE!

   Connie: Why doesn't she sing stuff people actually like to hear such as classic acid
punk from Nena Hagen or The Sex Pistols?

APPLAUSE!

   Regis: Well, we're wasting a lot of time here, but I do wish you luck in getting this
question correct risk-free. Now, when we left off, you were going for the million-dollar
question. Are you ready, Connie?
   Connie: Bring it on!
   Regis: OK. Let's play!


DIM LIGHTS!

   Regis: OK. Here it is for one million dollars.

   Which Christmas Novelty Song is Not Featured on the Dr. Demento Greatest Novelty CD
Of All Time?
   a. All I Want For Christmas - Spike Jones
   b. Wreck The Halls - The Three Stooges
   c. I Want a Hippopotamus - Gayla Peevey
   d. I Yust Go Nuts At Christmas - Yogi Yorgesson

   Regis: Now please bear in mind that you've already used up your lifelines last year,
but this is a free guess for the rest of the million.

   Connie: Hmmm.

   Regis: I can assure you that all of these are all-time classics from over two generations
ago. Have you ever heard these songs?

   Connie: Yes. I'm not suuuuurrrrrrrrrrre, buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuttttt.....

LONG PAUSE

   Connie: b.-WreckTheHalls-FinalAnswer.

LAUGHTER

   Regis: Well, you must think you're John Carpenter?

LAUGHTER

   Connie: Well, I still have enough ba...
   Regis (interrupting): OK, I get your answer heard all around the world...
         SHE'S WON A MILLION DOLLARS!

MEGA APPLAUSE! BALLOONS FALLING! MAINSTREET ELECTRICAL PARADE THEME PLAYING!
HUGS AND KISSES BY CONNIE'S FEMALE LOVER.

   Regis: Congratulations, Connie! And who is this lovely lady?
   Connie: Kelly. She used to be my wife, but now she's my lesbian lover and we are still
       in love with each other.
   Regis: Well, there's always room for any kind of family unit in America. Here is your
       check for another $500,000 giving you a grand total of $1,000,000. Congratuations.

HUGS. KISSES. CONNIE AND LOVER LEAVE. MUSIC PLAYS.

   Regis: Well, this is one interesting game so far. You just never know what's going to
          happen on this game show. Congraulations, Connie. Now, we have ten new contestants
          ready to play, so let's meet them right now...
   
   Gary Howard
   Christina Milano
   Rex Miller
   Peter Redford
   Greg Van Mills
   Anna Hughes
   Gabe Brown
   Richard Jackson
   Lou Martin
   Ricky Iglesias


   We have our ten contestants at their desks all vying to have their turn to
be in the hot seat.  All they have to do is to answer the question I will ask in the
fastest time, and they get to go for the million dollars!

   So audience, may I please have your silence, because here comes the question.

LIGHTS DIM.

   Put together the lyrics for the Christmas song "Christmas at Ground Zero"
in order, starting with the earliest.

   a. We're gonna get nuked
   b. There's music in the air
   c. That this is not a test
   d. Underneath a mushroom cloud

   GO!

CONTESTANTS SELECT THE ORDER



   Regis: OK. Our time is up. Here is the order that the lyrics come in starting
with the earliest, they are...

   b. There's music in the air
   c. That this is not a test
   d. Underneath a mushroom cloud
   a. We're gonna get nuked

   Regis: That's the correct order, now let's see who got it in the fastest amount of
time...


   Gary Howard  3.45
   Christina Milano 9.22
   Rex Miller  1.44
   Peter Redford  ---
   Greg Van Mills ---
   Anna Hughes  5.32
   Gabe Brown   5.66
   Richard Jackson ---
   Lou Martin  12.54
   Ricky Iglesias ---


   Regis: It's Rex Miller! Come on down!

APPLAUSE!

   Regis: Ready to play?
   Rex: Sure.
   Regis: Then while we get you on the hot seat, let's watch this Weird Al video
once again as he sings about "Christmas at Ground Zero..."

APPLAUSE


================================================================================
Weird Al Yankovic
"Christmas At Ground Zero"

It's Christmas at Ground Zero
There's music in the air
The sleigh bells are ringing
And the carolers are singing
While the air raid sirens blare

It's...

W"GK-sqdewg=ewgn'REWQjgoie$#!614gk09-143jgmewqg1094tueqr"
Glewqgewgklg-]q0ewgk]-q0ewkg-0]\-013i4g#Q$TG!$#QGk0-314g$34gtj0-394ujy
0-134jg0[193j4g
31094gj[310ghj43g]13-4ojrghopdsa]fhjkl'jdsaghqre
dewqgj[10wq98euht314yt

===============================================================================

LAUGHTEER!

   Regis: What the hell happened to Weird Al?
   Engineer from background: It looks like he got nuked after 27 words.

AUDIENCE SIGHS

   Regis: Well, we hope we can get our video machine working again. But anyway,
Rex Miller is with us on our hot seat tonight, and...
   Rex: Yes, Rex Miller, Christmas Song extradinore, knows every novelty song
ever recorded, has every Christmas record ever made and knows every title
and lyric ever known to mankind. Just hand me the million dollars, Regis, and
don't bother with the questions.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS

   Regis: Hey now, you gotta earn the money first!
   Rex: Just ask me the questions, Reege, and I'll do a John Carpenter on you fast.

LAUGHTER

   Regis: Will you shut up already while I give you the rules?

APPLAUSE!

   Rex: Well, excuuuuse me!
   Regis: Well then, here are the rules of the game.  You start out at the $100
level and go up to the $200 level, and so forth up to the first guaranteed level
of $1000, then from there the prizes double and double until you get to the
second guaranteed level of $32,000, and so on up until you reach the $1,000,000
question.  You have three lifelines at your service: the 50/50, which is where
we take away two wrong answers; you have the audience poll where you ask the
audience to answer the question for you; and finally you can phone a friend on
the long-distance telephone we set up. Are you ready, Rex?
   Rex: The $100 Question Please?
   Regis: I guess this fathead is ready. Audience, are you ready?

APPLAUSE!

   Regis: OK. Let's play Who Wants to Be a Millionaire!

DIM LIGHTS!

   Regis: OK. Let's start with the ridiculously easy $100 question.

   In the classic Chrstmas novelty song, Grandma Got Run Over By a...what?
  
   a. Steamroller
   b. Reindeer
   c. 18-wheeler
   d. An Angry Unemployed Taco Bell Chihuahua

LAUGHTER

   Rex: Hmm. Uhh.  Duh.  Hmm.
   Regis: You know every novelty song every recorded, is that right?
   Rex: Yes.
   Regis: Well what is your answer!
   Rex: Uhhh. Hmm.  Uhh.  Duuuh. c. an 18-wheeler.
   Regis: Confident?
   Rex: Umm. No. 
   Regis: Why not use a lifeline?
   Rex: Because real men don't use lifelines.
   Regis: OK. You gonna make c. your final answer?
   Rex: I'm man enough for an 18-wheeler, so yes that is my final answer, now
        what is my $200 question.

   Regis: Oh, tsk. tsk. tsk. The answer is b. Reindeer

AUDIENCE SIGHS

   Regis: That's too bad, Rex.
   Rex: Hey, that was a trick question. Reindeer don't run over people.
   Regis: Rex, the game is over!
   Rex: No it's not, I want the $200 question!
   Regis: Rex, it's time you relinquished your hot seat!
   Rex: WHAT IS MY NEXT QUESTION (shaking his fist.)
   Regis: SECURITY! HELP!

SECURITY COMES IN, SEIZES REX, AND WRESTLES HIM TO THE GROUND.

   Regis: Well, it looks like you're going to need some bail bonds.
   Rex: Where is my $1,000,000 check?
   Regis: Looks like that's how much your bail will be set at. Get him out
          of here, security!

AUDIENCE LAUGHES AT REX. REX GIVES THEM THE FINGER. AUDIENCE BOOS

   Regis: Well, what a sore loser he is. It just goes to show you that this kind
of attitude doesn't pay. Anyway, we have nine contestants remaining, so let's ask
them the next fast finger question...


   Regis: Put together the order of Bob Rivers Christmas albums he released, starting
with the earliest...

   a. I Am Santa Claus
   b. Chipmunks Roasting on an Open Fire
   c. More Twisted Christmas
   d. Twisted Christmas

   Go!



CONTESTANTS SELECT THE ANSWERS


   Regis: OK. The time is now up. Now, let's see the order of Bob Rivers Christmas
albums he released, starting with the earliest, and they are...

   d. Twisted Christmas
   a. I Am Santa Claus
   c. More Twisted Christmas
   b. Chipmunks Roasting on an Open Fire

   Regis: That's the correct order, now let's see who got it in the fastest amount of
time...


   Gary Howard  2.65
   Christina Milano ---
   Peter Redford  2.56
   Greg Van Mills ---
   Anna Hughes  3.32
   Gabe Brown   5.66
   Richard Jackson 32.56
   Lou Martin  2.54
   Ricky Iglesias ---

   Regis: It's close, but Lou Martin, you da man. Come on down!

APPLAUSE!

   Regis: Ready to play?
   Lou: Yes.
   Regis: OK. Let's get you on the hot seat while we watch this new video from the latest
Bob Rivers Christmas album, here is "Chipmunks Roasting on an Open Fire," then we'll be right
back...

APPLAUSE


===============================================================================

BLANK SCREEN

===============================================================================

   Regis: Hey, engineer, what the hell is going on with the f---ing video machine?
   Engineer in background: SDG&E ordered us to cut our electricity use tonight.
        We're in a stage two alert.

AUDIENCE SIGHS

   Regis: Dammit! Those damn electricity producers are screwing us again!

APPLAUSE!

   Regis: Well, it looks like we'll have to do without any videos tonight, thanks
to the oil baron grinches who stole Christmas.

BOO! HISS! BOO!

   Regis: Well, Lou Martin is now on the hot seat. Tell us what you do for a living?
   Lou: I collect antique sexual devices for a museum.

LAUGHTER!

   Regis: Ever watch Saturday Night Live?
   Lou: What?
   Regis: Nevermind. Let's get started with the game. You have three lifelines, yadda,
yadda, yadda, so let's play Who Wants to Be a Millionaire!


LIGHTS DIM

   Regis: For $100, What Color is the Grinch?
   a. Yellow
   b. Green
   c. Red
   d. Plaid

LAUGHTER

   Lou: It's gotta be b. Green.
   Regis: The last contestant saw red when he got the $100 question wrong, but you're right
with b. for $100!

APPLAUSE!

   Regis: For $200, the title of Cheech and Chong's Christmas story was about "Santa and His..."
what?

   a. Old Lady
   b. Wife
   c. Mistress
   d. Nagging Mother-In-Law

LAUGHTER!

  Lou: It's a. Old Lady.
  Regis: You are so right for $200!

APPLAUSE!

  Regis: For $300, in the Hollytones song, "Christmas is Coming Twice This Year," the kids
spend Christmas once with mom, and again with who?
     a. Uncle
     b. Cousin
     c. Dad
     d. Her Ex-Lesbian Partner

  Lou: OK. It's c. Dad.
  Regis: It's right, for $300!

APPLAUSE!

  Regis: For $500, Which talk show hostess put out two Christmas CD's?
      a. Queen Latifah
      b. Rosie O'Donnell
      c. Ricki Lake
      d. Oprah Winfrey
      
  Lou: Never heard of any of them.
  Regis: Well, you have three lifelines.
  Lou: I guess Rex wasn't man enough to use them, that's for sure.
  
APPLAUSE!

  Lou: Let's do Ask the Audience
  Regis: OK. Looks like Lou needs a little help here. On your keypads are the choices
a, b, c, and d. Go!

AUDIENCE SELECTS THE ANSWER

     .
     .
     .
     .
     .
     .
     .
     .
     .
  .  .
  a  b  c  d

LAUGHTER


   Regis: Who is the one person that voted for a.?
   Lou: It doesn't matter, so I'll go with b.
   Regis: Now Rex, I gotta ask you for the first time in about 20,000 bytes, is this
your final answer?
   Lou: Yes.

   Regis: And you're all right. You've won $500! Thank you audience!

APPLAUSE!

   Regis: Here we go for your $1,000 level and guaranteed award.
   Which female singer is not featured on the pop album "A Platnum Christmas?

      a. Britney Spears
      b. Mandy Moore
      c. Christina Aguliera
      d. Monica

  Lou: Egad. You mean they're singers?
  Regis: I just ask the questions. Not judge their qualities.
  Lou: What? No Jessica Simpson? She's a fox.

AUDIENCE FLIRTS

  Regis: Hey now, audience!
  Lou: Let's go 50/50 already.
  Regis: Well, this is a very popular album even by non-demented music standards.
  Lou: Never heard of them. I listen to rock and roll.
  Regis: 50/50?
  Lou: Sure.
  Regis: Computer, please take away two wrong answers, leaving our contestant with one
right and one wrong answer.

   Which female singer is not featured on the pop album "A Platnum Christmas?

      a. Britney Spears
      b. Mandy Moore

   Regis: Does this help you anyway?
   Lou: At least Britney is hot though.

AUDIENCE HOWLS!

   Regis: Hey, audience, she's not that cute.

AUDIENCE BOOS REGIS!

   Regis: OK. You win!
   Lou: I'll take a guess and say Mandy Moore.
   Regis: Is it really a guess?
   Lou: I don't know anybody who's heard of them.
   Regis: You say b. Is that your final answer?
   Lou: Yes.


   Regis. Well, well, well.....

   It is b. You've won $1000!


APPLAUSE!

DIM LIGHTS!


   Regis: OK Lou, you've reached the $1,000 plateau. No matter what else happens, you can't
leave with anything less than this amount.
   Lou: Yay!
   Regis: Now, if you're ready, let's take a look at your $2,000 question...

   The Bob Rivers song "I Am Santa Claus" is a parody of which rock and roll song?
   a. Ballroom Blitz - Sweet
   b. Rock and Roll All Nite - KISS
   c. Iron Man - Black Sabbath
   d. Whole Lotta Love - Led Zeppelin

   Lou: Love all those songs.
   Regis: Yea, I bet you that you do.
   Lou: It's that riff Beavis and Butthead used to perform on their old MTV show.
   Regis: You watched the show?
   Lou: Yup. These moron teens were so stupid they were funny.
   Regis: Well, what's your answer, buttmunch?
   Lou: Shut up, asswipe.

LAUGHTER!

   Regis: Heh-heh. Hmm-hmm. What's your answer.
   Lou: Uh-huh-huh-huh. It's c. Iron Man.
   Regis: Is that your final answer?
   Lou: Umm, yes.

   Regis: You're right, you win $2,000!

APPLAUSE

DIM LIGHTS

   Regis: You were funny, Lou:
   Lou: Thanks.
   Regis: Now, we're going to tackle the $4,000 question. Listen up!
   
   James and Cling sang about what kind of Christmas?
      a. Terrorist
      b. Death Row
      c. Satanic
      d. Power Blackout.

   Lou: Just be glad not everybody lives in California.

LAUGHTER!

   Regis: Let's hope the blackout shuts off Kathie Lee's singing for sometime.

APPLAUSE!

   Lou: I don't think they sing about a power blackout, but I know that Spinal Tap
sang about a Satanic Christmas, so I don't think that James and Cling are into Death
Row songs...so....
   Regis: Lou, I need an answer!
   Lou: a. Terrorist. Final Answer.


   Regis: Lou?
   Lou: What?

   Regis: I have to tell you this...

   Regis: You're right for $4,000!

APPLAUSE!

DIM LIGHTS!

  Regis: Lou, you've reached the $4,000 prize level with one lifeline remaining. You're halfway
there to a million.
  Lou: Well, I could pay my monthly electricity bill with just that amount alone.

LAUGHTER!

  Regis: Now, we better hustle and get to the $8,000 question. Here it is!
  What happened to Santa Claus in the Extra Gory version of "The Night Santa Went Crazy?"

      a. He Goes to Prison
      b. He Dies
      c. He Goes to a Mental Hospital
      d. He Snaps Out of The Crazy State.

  Lou: I heard the regular version about 26 times in my lifetime, but the Extra Gory version
I never heard.....but....when you tell me gory...
  Regis: Eeeeeeeyessss?????
  Lou: ...it's got to be about spilling blood, so I'm going with c. He Dies.

  Regis: Well. For someone who never heard the Gory version before, you could be right, so
is this your final answer?
  Lou: Yes.


  Regis: Lou!

  Lou: What?

  Regis: Guess what?

  Lou: He dies?

  Regis: You're right, it's b! You've won $8,000!

APPLAUSE!

  Regis: Incidentally, for you younger folks watching this game, it's only fictional. Santa
Claus is not dead. So, Lou, you're now at $8,000.
  Lou: That's really cool.
  Regis: And we're going to go for the $16,000 right after this video from Weird Al Yankovic
doing the Night Santa Went Crazy. Do we have the video machine ready, Scotty?

  Enginner Scotty: Aye, Reege. There is no power in the phasers to energize the machine.
  Regis: This is Millionaire, not Star Trek.
  Enginner Scotty: Oh, Captain. But we still don't have power. It costs too much.
  Regis: I said give me full video power, Scotty!
  Engineer Scotty: I can't change the trading prices of electricity. It's going through the roof
at $2.70 per kilowatt hour!
  Regis: How much does our video machine use per hour?
  Enginner Scotty: 4,000 kilowatts including power just to light up the control buttons.
  Regis: Well, fughediabutit.

  Regis: It looks like there will be no videos tonight, kids.

AUDIENCE CRIES

  Regis: But, let's have Lou see the $16,000 question. Let's Play!

LIGHTS DIM!

  Regis: For $16,000, The Bob Rivers parody, "Santa Claus is Foolin' Around," is making fun of
which singer's version of "Santa Claus is Coming To Town?"
    a. The Jackson 5ive
    b. Bruce Springsteen
    c. The Crystals
    d. The Ronettes


  Lou: I heard all the versions and they all sing part of it like "Da Do Ron Ron Ron."

LAUGHTER!

  Regis: Let me clear something up about the question, it's all about the pattern of the song,
the way the melody and lyrics are laid out, now just think about that for a while.

  Lou: Hmmm...

LONG PAUSE

  Regis: Any clues?
  Lou: I guess that Bob Rivers specializes in rock and roll parodies, so the song would have to be
about a rock and roll version of the song. I guess I'm going to try for b. Bruce Springsteen.

  Regis: Is that a guess?
  Lou: More of a guesstimate.
  Regis: Lou, I gotta ask you, is that your final answer?
  Lou: Yes


  It is Bruce Springsteen, you've won $16,000!

APPLAUSE!

  Regis: One more question, and you're sure to leave home for no less than $32,000. For $32,000,
let's take a look!
  What Christmas Episode of a regular series was finally rerun over 30 years after it originally
aired on network television?
  a. Burns and Allen
  b. The Honeymooners
  c. Leave It To Beaver
  d. I Love Lucy


  Lou: I know there were some lost episodes of The Honeymooners that turned up last decade....but
I've been seeing their Christmas episode for a long while in reruns, so that's not it.....hmm...

  Regis: Well, you still have the Call-a-Friend lifeline to use.

  Lou: I don't think I ever saw a Leave It To Beaver Christmas episode....and...Burns and Allen?
I'm not sure....

  Regis: Want to call a friend?
  Lou: OK.
  Regis: Who do you want to call?
  Lou: My grandmother, Gertrude in Florida.
  Regis: OK. Let's get her on the line right now.

RING!!!!

  Caller: Helllo????
  Regis: Hi, it's me Regis of Who Wants to Be a Demented Millionaire.
  Caller: Hi Regis!
  Regis: Is this Gertrude?
  Caller: I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this is her best friend Dotty speaking and
I'm sad to report that she passed away last night in her sleep.

AUDIENCE SIGHS

  Regis: Please accept my condolances to you and to you too, Lou.
  Caller: Thanks, Regis.
  Lou: Thanks.
  Regis: Could you be the one to help out her grandson Lou, Dotty?
  Caller: Sure.
  Regis: OK. Now are you familiar with my game show?
  Caller: Watch it all the time, Regis.
  Regis: Alright. Good luck. Lou is going for $32,000 right now, and the next voice
you're going to hear is Lou. You have 30 seconds to answer his question, and the time starts now!

  Lou: What Christmas Episode of a regular series was finally rerun over 30 years after it originally
aired on network television?
  a. Burns and Allen
  b. The Honeymooners
  c. Leave It To Beaver
  d. I Love Lucy

  Caller: I actually was an extra in one of the Christmas episodes, but let me tell you that
Leave It to Beaver and Burns and Allen did not have Christmas episodes as far as my memory serves
right, but Leave It to Beaver might have had a Christmas show, but I never saw the I Love Lucy...

  Lou: 5 seconds!

  Caller: ...episode, so I guess that the lost show is I....

BUZZ BUZZ!

  Regis: Time is up, Lou.

  Lou: I heard her say "I" as in "I Love Lucy", so ok, I guess she meant to say d.
  Regis: OK. But remember, if you miss this question, you lose $15,000.
  Lou: I less balls than Connie still has...

LAUGHTER!

  Regis:...but?
  Lou: I guess I'm going to go for it. d. Final Answer.


  Regis: Hey Lou?

  Lou: What?

  Regis: You've got it! You've won $32,000!

AUDIENCE APPLAUSE!!!!

LIGHTS DIM

  Regis: Here you go, Lou, a check for $32,000! How does it make you feel now?
  Lou: Yeeee-haaa!
  Regis: But now, you have no lifelines left and five questions to go for a million,
but it can be done, Lou.
  Lou: And I'm going to be that man, Regis.
  Regis: Well, then, here we go with the $64,000 question...

  A Cartoons Christmas is performed by which member of the TV show "Full House?"
     a. Bob Saget
     b. Dave Coulier
     c. John Stamos
     d. Charles Fleischer

  Regis: Have you ever seen "Full House?"
  Lou: No, I never watched the show.
  Regis: It's the show with the cute Olsen Twins. How could you have possibly missed the
       series?
  Lou: I dunno. I was watching UPN or something.
  Regis: UPN wasn't even on when Full House was on!
  Lou: Well, that shows me how much I know.
  Regis: It was a VERY POPULAR SHOW, LOU!

LAUGHTER!

  Lou: Not in my house it wasn't.
  Regis: But this is a free guess, so you're not losing anything!
  Lou: I did see one of the guys in the stupid home video series, and he kept making
cartoon voices in the background while a kid threw a ball into his dad's nuts.

LAUGHTER!

  Regis: Boy, are we having a ...ball...here!

LAUGHTER!

  Lou: I guess it's Bob Saget, so I'll go for a.
  Regis: Confident?
  Lou: I'm just guessing. I'm not sure, but I might as well go for it anyway.
  Regis: Is a. your final answer?
  Lou: Yes.

  Regis: Son of a gun, it was b. Dave Coulier

APPLAUSE!

  Regis: So Lou leaves us with $32,000, you were terrific and thanks for playing!
  Lou: Thanks, Regis.

REGIS HANDS LOU THE CHECK...LOU LEAVES...APPLAUSE!


  Regis: Well, for the record, Dave Coulier did a lot of cartoon voices on various shows.
But Lou just had to resort to a guess, and got it wrong. Well, good luck to you, Lou.

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