They're Coming To Take Me Away. LARP correspondent Alan Oda spent an evening monitoring the songs that Mr. KABC and his listeners suggested as a means of driving Osama bin Laden from the caves of Afghanistan, a la Manuel Noriega twelve years ago. From Mr. KABC's collection: Winchester Cathedral, Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini, a cut from the Police Synchronicity album, Muskrat Love (Captain & Tennille), a song about boll weevils, You Don't Bring Me Flowers (Barbara Streisand & Neil Diamond), and anything from the Abba's Greatest Hits album.
From the listeners (who were required to play the song over the phone): Feelings (Morris Albert), I Gotta Be Me (Jim Nabors), Shaddap Your Face (Joe Gosche), Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds (the William Shatner spoken version), Beat It (Michael Jackson), the theme from tv's Green Acres (Eddie Albert), Ice Ice Baby (Vanilla Ice), Hooked on a Feeling (Blue Suede), I Think We're Alone Now (Tiffany), Electric Boogaloo (Debbie Gibson), a cut from the Violent Femmes, Get Down (Gilbert O'Sullivan), Theme from The Crying Game (Dave Barry), Love Grows Where My Rosemary Grows (Edison Lighthouse), Me and You and a Dog Name Boo (Lobo), Do You Really Want to Hurt Me? (Boy George), Somewhere in the Night and Copacabana (Barry Manilow), Cheeseburger in Paradise (Jimmy Buffett), Prince Ali from the Disney Movie Aladdin (Robin Williams), Spanish Flea (Herb Alpert), and The Cookie Monster Song from Sesame Street.
LARP Ron Fineman contributed They're Coming to Take Me Away (Napoleon XIV) and Hanky Panky (Tommy James, a song once voted "Worst Song of All Time" on KHJ), while newsman Rob Marinko offered Afternoon Delight (Starland Vocal Band). Other songs mentioned included Beautiful Sunday (Daniel Boone), Oh Babe What Would You Say? (Hurricane Smith), Seasons in the Sun (Terry Jacks), Undercover Angel (Alan O'Day), Gypsies Tramps and Thieves (Cher), Tiptoe Through the Tulips (Tiny Tim), I Am Woman (Helen Reddy), Loving You (Minnie Riperton), In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida (Iron Butterfly), and Shattered (Rolling Stones). It was perhaps one of the most painful hours heard on radio in quite some time, according to Alan Oda.
One of the first was a goofy remake of Harry Belafonte signature Day-O (The Banana Boat Song) by morning team Johnjay and Rich at KRQQ in Tucson. The DJs are preparing a benefit CD of timely parodies to be released next month. The song found its way to a humor Web site, which has animated calypso duo Colin Powell and George W. Bush singing "Come, Mr. Taliban, turn over bin Laden/Daylight come and we drop de bomb"(www.madblast.com/oska/humor_bin.swf). At www.amiright.com, parodies include O Taliban (from O Tannenbaum) and Dubya's Gonna Bomb Ya (La Bamba).
Instant song parodies are common, though Sept. 11 initially inspired more serious versions than comic ones, says Sean Ross, editor of Airplay Monitor. "People were more likely to take the patriotic route than the wacky, novelty route. In the last couple of weeks, after the bombing started, the tenor changed."
Silly terror-related parodies number "more than you'd expect, but less than if it were about something without continued dire consequences," Ross says.
Minogue, a former soap star, has been enjoying a revival in Britain but her single "Can't Get You Out Of My Head" was pushed into second spot by a new dance song, Afroman's "Because I Got High."
"Hey Baby" by DJ Otzi stayed at No. 3.
Britney Spears went straight in at fourth with her new single, "I'm A Slave 4 U," while Michael Jackson slipped four places to No. 6 with "You Rock My World."
Elsewhere in the chart, compiled by the Official UK Charts Company, MisTeeq's "One Night Stand" shot straight in at No. 5.